Leading up to results day I had no idea what my life would look like come September, whether I’d get into my Uni of choice (or any Uni for that matter) or what other route I could take…working? A gap year? But where would I live? Would I stay with my parents or try to find work back where my friends are? Or travel?
There were so many unknowns and prior to discovering my results I didn’t know if any of my options were actually plausible. I had no idea what God had in store for me and I found that so frustrating. Being away from my church family made the nerves seem even greater, not being surrounded with faith was difficult (anyone else get a bit of a worship withdrawal when it’s been a while?!).
The main issue, however, was my own impatience and this period of waiting for the next phase of my life to just begin already has taught me a lot me a lot about dealing with my own frustration and restlessness when I can’t quite see what’s ahead.
Sometimes we can be so desperate for a clear sense of direction, for guidance about where we’re headed next that we neglect the here and now.
If you’re anything like me you may find it difficult to just pause, to enjoy a season for what it is, instead of looking for the next adventure, the next stage of life and all it will bring. Yes, it’s great to look forward to all that’s to come but I’ve realised its ok to just not know. We aren’t supposed to be aware of exactly what He’s got planned. It’s ok to just enjoy right now and rest in the knowledge that although you may not know what it is, He has got a plan and it’s the best one for you. Of course it’s important to be expectant for what He’s going to do but I’ve learned it’s equally as essential to be thankful for what He’s already doing.
I’m thankful for…
Time with my family
I truly cherish the time I’ve been able to spend with my family. Next year won’t be quite the same in my household as I’m off to Uni and due to work commitments my mum won’t be living at home during the week. I am so thankful for this time we’ve had together, as a family. Of course we’ve been getting on each other’s nerves a little (we’ve spending 24 hours a day together so that’s not a surprise!) but generally it’s been so lovely to all just be together, making memories and having fun.
Time with God
With the stress, sweat and tears of A-levels a distant memory I’ve finally had time to really enjoy bible-study. It’s been completely guilt-free because I can relax, knowing there’s nothing else I should be doing- no demands, no deadlines, no time-restraints. As much as I’ve missed my church I’ve found so much peace in my own private quiet time with God. I feel like He’s really used this season to strengthen me and prepare me for life at University. Of course Bible study will still be an important part of my life when I get to Uni (even if some days that consists only of reading the verse of the day on the bible app!) but I’m so thankful for the time I’ve had to just enjoy God’s presence, to listen and receive.
Time to write
We are fearfully made has been another area of my life that has grown in these last few weeks. It’s been such a brilliant outlet for me. As soon as that pre-results day frustration kicked in the note-book was out, the pen was in hand and I was lost in new ideas, in prayers and visions about where my little beloved pocket of the internet could go. The best thing about having more time on my hands was that it allowed me to start the Women of the Bible series which I’ve really enjoyed working on. Writing has always been an escape for me and it’s really helped to channel that energy that I could have used working myself up into a I’m-not-going-to-get-into-Uni frenzy, into something more positive and a million times more productive.
The season you are in is valuable. You are learning lessons which have a worth you may not yet understand but will be so beneficial to you in years to come.
You may feel a sense of frustration, that life’s just not really progressing or moving. Perhaps you’re wandering around singing Disney’s Rapunzel’s ‘When will my life begin?’ (If you haven’t heard it, you-tube it, it’s a tune). If you’re in this limbo period where everything seems to have come to a bit of a halt just remember that God is still moving. You may not feel like you’re going anywhere but He’s gone ahead, He has a perfect plan for your life. The best thing you can do is leave Him to it and enjoy the season you’re in.
This time in your life does have a purpose and you can find joy in it- I’ve had time to write, rest, pray and spend precious time with those I love most in the world. As this season draws to a close and my path is beginning to take shape I’m not resentful towards these difficult few weeks. I’ve been forced to slow down, take some time to work on my blog and most importantly work on myself. I’ve learned a lot, mostly about dealing with my impatience but there’s so much more. As Uni approaches I’m feeling refreshed, energised and ready for my future and all that’s to come.