To express yourself, to share your story, to encourage others, to teach a skill or share advice.
When it comes to sharing your heart online, I’ve found the best way to keep writing and creating content throughout every season is to know your why.
Because maintaining a blog isn’t easy. Sometimes it feels like hard work with little gain. But in these trickier moments I love to reflect on why I started and take my eyes off my insecurities/ lack and back on my goal.
WHY I STARTED
“Be the person you needed when you were younger.” Ayesha Siddiqi
When I was a teen, I spent a lot of time feeling lonely and inadequate.
I met Jesus at 16 and was radically changed by Him. I finally understood how valuable and unconditionally loved I was by Him. The way I saw myself and others shifted.
Months passed, I grew stronger in my faith, more hungry to know Him and read His word.
When I was 18, I wanted to be the person who I needed when I was younger, to support those who might have felt that same crippling lack of esteem that I’d experienced.
I decided to do what I’d always done: write.
Only, publicly and with the aim of encouraging others, not just as a private way to pour out my feelings (I was a diary keeper for years… anyone else like to look back at their dramatic teenage ramblings?!).
I created a blog and got cracking with no money and little knowledge of how the whole blogging worked but I loved learning and I was passionate about creating a positive pocket of the internet.
That was four years ago.
WHY I’VE CONTINUED
After a few months of finding my feet online and growing a small readership, I experienced a creative drought. I felt a lot of niggling self-criticisms. This blog post isn’t good enough. That bloggers better than you.
I took a short break and focused on my degree for a few months. But I soon found I missed sharing my writing online. I remembered the joy I felt when hitting ‘publish’ on a piece I was really happy with. Above all I realised how much I missed the community feel of the blogging world.
Over time my confidence grew and I felt ready to get writing again. With this new sense of purpose and vision I wanted a fresh platform to display my creativity, a place where I felt a little more free to experiment and simply give this blogging thing another shot… and so EllaScribbles was born.
I created a little mission statement at the time:
There is beauty in having a go.
Even a scribble has a value.
And that’s the heart behind the blog, and the reason I’ve stuck with it throughout the seasons where I’ve been busy with Uni or felt disheartened because my readership wasn’t growing… I believe that all my God asks of me is that I have a go. I trust Him enough to take a leap of faith and get vulnerable online in the hope that someone relates to what I have to share and is encouraged in their own creativity.
MY HOPE FOR THE FUTURE
I’ve loved my blogging journey throughout the last four years. There have been ups and downs but I’ve built something which might not be perfect, but is mine. I’ve always tried to be authentically me, and there have been season’s where I’ve done that better than others.
My hope is that I never write from a place of fear, dictated by what others might think. I want to write from a place of victory, of knowing that whatever I share, He’s working in it.
I’d rather have imperfect posts that plant seeds of hope in the hearts of others than perfect posts that lack any honesty and vulnerability.
In the past there have been times when comparing myself to others has held me back from sharing things which are on my heart. And it’s defeating. Recently I’ve been feeling challenged to share a little more openly and to write with a new boldness. It might be a little messy here and there but I hope you’ll continue to journey with me!
What creative projects are you working on? I’d love to hear your ‘why’!
For more of my story, click here.